Originally published on Huffington Post.

Yesterday I took a leap of faith, quite literally. It’s week two of working independently again after 20 months of working within an organisation, albeit a small one. I told myself it was OK to take my first week easy and treat it like a week’s holiday. I even left the country, yet I found myself unable to switch off. The ideas that i’d been been pooling for the last few months were swimming around my head and I wanted to start pushing them forwards. The thought of not being able to do so felt restrictive, but I rationalised that this week was allocated to ‘fun’ and I would make a start next week.

Monday came around and I bounced out of bed, excited to start my week. Knowing how important structure is to my productivity, I’d scheduled early morning meetings, afternoon exercise and time in between to ‘get things done.’ So why, when my allocated time arrived did I suddenly feel overwhelmed with what lay ahead? All I needed to do was work through my task list, but I suddenly started questioning my prioritisation and found myself in a less than productive frenzy of multi-tasking.

A few hours later, I left feeling like I hadnt achieved anything, but it was time for my exercise slot. I’d booked myself in for an outdoor trapeze lesson in Regents Park - I’d never tried it before and thought it would scratch my ‘learn something new’ itch.

My sense of despondence about my morning meant I found myself volunteering to go first, and before I know it, I find myself climbing the ladder to reach the platform at the top. As I start to climb, i’m suddenly aware of how wobbly the ladder is and that I actually have a fear of heights ( when I don’t have a glass wall to protect me from falling). I reach halfway and freeze, my brain telling me ‘I can’t do this.’ I look down at the group who are all smiling and telling me to go on up, and i’m caught between two windows - walk back down or carry on and see what happens. I realise that if I tell myself I can do it, then I am more likely to try. So I continued slowly, one steady step at a time, trying not to to look up or down, but straight ahead. Each rung of the ladder created a beautiful window filled with leafy trees and I told myself that if I focused on the view, I appreciate the journey and not get overwhelmed with what might happen next.

I reached the top, only allowing myself to look straight ahead. Now come the flashbacks to my failed abseiling attempts over the years, where I would make it to the top and then refuse to back off the ledge. I tell myself that I am creating my own limitations and force a smile in an attempt to trick myself into believing I can do this. The instructor held the back of my harness and told me to lean forwards at a 45 degree angle, over the edge of the platform to grab the bar which is hanging in the air. When i’m ready, I should ‘hop off’ at which point he’ll let go.

My first issue is that the bar is heavy and hard to hold at that angle, and the second is that he had yet to earn my trust and may well let me go before I feel ready, much like my mum did when I was learning to ride my bike without stabilisers (although I know they both have the best intentions). After a minute or so of some gentle reassurance, the moment arrives where I know I just need to do it. As I look ahead, I know i’m nervous that I won’t be able to take the momentum and will fall, but i’ve resolved that the worse case scenario will be a scream followed by a bouncy landing in the safety net so here goes.

Here is the video of what happened next...

As you can see, I survived and I even managed to follow instructions to do a little trick!
My second attempt was still scary, but I followed instructions more quickly and willingly, trusting in the process.

I left class, laughing with my new friends and feeling like i’d achieved more than I ever thought possible, all in two short hours. Everything else seemed within reach again...

If you think too much about it, you won’t step off the ledge
Each step is building learned behaviour for future self-confidence
If you look too far up or down, you’re more likely to fall
Complete strangers become your support network because they appreciate what it takes to be up there
Why I see flying trapeze as a life lesson for entrepreneurship
You won’t always get there first time, but it’s good practise for the next attempt

Originally published in The Guardian.

I recently attended a talk that have made me sit up and take note of the fact that in order to be more productive, we need to take time out. My critical, over-active mind tells me that this is nonsense - how can spending less time working result in getting more done? Surely if i spend an an extra hour today ticking things off my to do list then i’ll have more time tomorrow to work through the next set of tasks and i’ll be achieving more in the long run? According to the panel on the stage in front of me, the trouble with this kind of mindset is that it ultimately leads to burnout which leads to prolonged periods of reduced productivity as energy, motivation and focus try to recover to normal levels.

Having just found myself in the second cycle of burnout in just 9 months, with the second being more severe than the first, I started to consider that perhaps it wasn’t the result of my inadequacies, but instead the pace i had set myself to achieve my goals. My concentration was suddenly transfixed on these 8 high-profile business minds who had all experienced similar behaviours and were now making a stand to help others understand the science behind the mind and how we can get more of out of life without sacrificing success.

Arianna Huffington lead the panel and talked about measuring success beyond money and power through a third metric - wellbeing. A high achiever and a victim of burnout, she talked about the difficulty of making lifestyle changes because it’s harder to see the greater good when you’re stuck in such a demanding routine.

The co-founder of Headspace shared their journey to make a stand to incorporate technology into our lives in a way that brings balance rather than fires information at us at high speed (there is a great article in ES Magazine on 26th July about having a digital detox). Their app helps people to dedicate just 10 minutes a day to taking some time out, clearing your mind and allowing you to continue your day with greater focus and energy. Whilst it’s hard to believe that a fairy godmother could live inside a mobile phone, it really does allow you to zone without having the impracticality of transporting yourself to a hammock on a deserted beach. I’m on day 10 and if i’m honest, a little bit addicted. I use it when i’m on the bus (there is a dedicated guide to Headspace on public transport which receives auto-play when i step on to the 176), for getting back to sleep when i wake in the middle of the night wondering if i’m doing the right thing with my life and when i find myself circling over my to to list because i’m overwhelmed at the length of it.

I also walked away with a book called Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world. This has been my other go to when i need some time out but don’t want to risk falling asleep on public transport. It explains the science behind it all and feels like a very timely arrival in my life.

So what’s the result? I have to say, so far i definitely feel happier, less anxious and more capable of getting the right things done. I can sit on the bus and read without wincing at the shrills around me by acknowledging that they’re there without fighting them (thank you Headspace) and i can get back to sleep within 20 minutes as opposed to my usual 1-3 hours of thinking. Whilst it could be argued that i should seek professional counselling (i have considered it), i see many of the same struggles among fellow startup entrepreneurs who are trying to build their business and to you lovely people in particular, i believe these are the tools to help keep you sane along the way.

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